The reason teenagers give for taking illicit drugs and what you can say

Here are some of the reasons young people give for using drugs and some ideas about how you might choose to respond to them.

“Someone had some and I just thought I’d try it.”

Express your concern and question their decision. Ask whether it was what they expected and talk about the risks of further use. Try and find out if they felt pressured as this may lead to better ways for them to handle a similar situation in the future. Consider using examples of times when you have had to deal with a similar situation.

“I always wanted to try that stuff.”

Ask what made that particular drug appealing, and what they expected to get from it, Questions such as “What did you think it would be like?” and “Why that drug?” may be worthwhile. You may be able to discuss whether they have tried other drugs and if so, why. Say that you’re concerned with their behaviour and try to establish some ground rules.

“All my friends were doing it so I thought ….. Why not?”

Make your feelings about drug use clear and explain why you don’t want them involved. Ask if they felt it was safe because their friends were using it.  Ask why they thought their friends use it and whether they are aware of the risks. Discuss the dangers of experimenting with drugs. It may be useful to talk about the importance of being able to make their own responsible decisions instead of following the crows.

“It made me feel really good.”

Try exploring the main reason the young person took the drug. Find out how they have been feeling. This is a good time to offer help and to test the water to see if there is anything you can do for them or if they want to talk about another issue. Talk about less risky ways of feeling good.

“All my problems from school, home and life just went away.”

This statement is a chance to really confront other issues. You can express your concern about your teenager using drugs as a means of coping. Let them know if there are problems, you would like to talk about them. Ask what can be done to make things better. Discuss whether the problems returned after the effects of the drug wore off. Express your feelings about the dangers of using drugs to deal with problems. Make it clear that you want to work together to find a better way of solving their problems.

“It gave me more confidence.”

Let them know that this is of concern to you and explain that they don’t need drugs to feel good about themselves. Share your own experiences where you also found it difficult in social situations and explain ways that helped you gain more confidence. These can be both positive and negative experiences. By acknowledging your own behaviour, you will increase your credibility with the young person Consider ways in which you can help to improve the young person’s confidence and self-esteem.

“Well, you used drugs.”

You should be prepared for this type of response if this statement applies to you. You need to be frank and open with your child. Acknowledge that illicit drugs are dangerous, that you would make a different decision now and that you do not want them to make the same mistakes. You are an important role model.

1. Be part of their lives. Make sure that you make time for your children. Take an interest in their interests and establish a routine for doing things together. Don’t be afraid to ask where your teenagers are going and who they will be with. Spending time together as a family is important. For example, try to talk and eat together every day and find other opportunities to enjoy time together as a family.
2. Listen to them. Showing a willingness to listen will help your children to feel more comfortable about listening to you.  Ask for their input about family decisions to demonstrate that you value their opinions. Try not to interrupt or react in a way that will stop further discussion. Encourage them to feel comfortable about telling you their problems.
3. Be a role model. When it comes to illicit drugs, there is no such thing as “do as I say, not as I do.”  If you take illicit drugs, you can’t expect your child to take your advice. Don’t underestimate the influence your behaviour can have on your children, particularly any use of tobacco or misuse of alcohol and medications.
4. Be honest. It is important to be informed but don’t pretend to know everything. Be prepared to say “I don’t know but I will try and find out.” Be honest and clear about where you stand so that your children will find it easier to be honest with you.
5. Pick your moment. Choose the right time to discuss the topic by looking for natural opportunities as they arise. This might be watching TV, when taking about someone at school or in response to something that was similarly difficult to talk about.
6. Be calm. Being calm and rational is also important and don’t over-react. You should keep the lines of communication open and don’t ridicule or lecture. Remember that getting angry will just close the door on further discussion.
7. Avoid conflict. It is difficult to solve a problem when there is conflict. Try to see their point of view and encourage them to understand yours. If a confrontation develops, stop the conversation and return to it as soon as both of you are calmer.
8. Keep on talking. Once you have had a discussion, it’s important to have another. Ensure that you are always willing to speak to your children about drugs and start early.
9. Set clear boundaries.  Most young people expect and appreciate some ground rules. Allowing them to take part in setting the rules encourages them to take more responsibility for sticking to them. Once you have rules, enforce them and ensure young people know of the consequences of breaking them.  Find and agree to ways young people can act should they find themselves in a situation that exposes them to drugs. For example, let them know that you will always collect them if they need you to, even if it is late at night. However, make it absolutely clear that you would rather they didn’t put themselves in a situation where they are likely to be exposed to illicit drugs.
10. Focus on the positive.  Reward your children’s good behaviour and emphasise those things they do well. Encourage them to feel good about themselves and let them know that they deserve respect.

In the meantime, I would suggest helping yourself cope with the rigours of living with teenagers by looking at supplementing your diet with an amino acid and a natural relaxant to help you sleep at night.  Magnesium Ultra Potent can be taken before bed to assist with a deep and restful sleep and helps to reduce stress. Tyrosine Mood Food is necessary for the manufacture of dopamine and noradrenaline, which are required for concentration, alertness, memory and a happy, stable mood.

Blues Free is designed to support a better mood. Hydroxytryptophan is needed by the brain to make Serotonin which is the natural happy chemical produced by brain cells and has a controlling effect upon mood and feelings, appetite, sleep, confidence and mental energy.

Sleep Eze is another useful sleep enhancer and I use it myself.  Melatonin is best taken at night when the pineal gland is meant to secrete its own melatonin to promote a natural restful sleep and awake refreshed in the morning without that “sleeping tablet hangover”.   I like it because it is not addictive.

Everyday Stress Lozenges. These Everyday Stress Lozenges contain all natural passion flower petals to help you relax under pressure. A natural herb with relaxing and calming effects upon the nervous system, to help you perform under pressure without slowing you down.

Adrenal Plus Support.   If you support the function of your adrenal glands, you have more chance coping with the everyday pressures of life. Many people suffer with morning fatigue and depression due to sluggish function of the adrenal glands. The adrenal glands are 2 small glands that are situated just above the kidneys and when they are working efficiently, they produce extra surges of energising hormones such as cortisol, adrenalin and DHEA to help you face the challenges of the new day. In other words, the adrenal gland hormones increase your resistance to stress and provide the drive and energy to succeed.

The above statements have not been evaluated by the FDA and are not intended to diagnose, treat or cure any disease.