Don’t let alcohol rob you of emotional intelligence

Emotional intelligence is the “something” in each of us that is a bit intangible. It affects how we manage behaviour, navigate social complexities, and make personal decisions to achieve positive results.

However, if we are living in a sea of alcohol, we sabotage our emotions and they remain static. We could be 40 years old with the emotions of a teenager. In other words, we do not handle life very well. We are too sensitive, too angry, too hostile, too childish and too selfish. Do you know anyone like that?

Nature makes it very difficult to know how much you have and what you can do to improve if you’re lacking. Alcohol abuse robs you of emotional maturity and there is nothing worse than seeing a middle-aged person having a hissy fit over something quite minor. They do not have the emotional intelligence to accept life on life’s terms.

Alcohol dependent people cannot tolerate rejection. Their approval-seeking encompasses a large category of self-defeating behaviours. Among the most common kinds of approval-seeking activities are:

• Changing a position or altering what you believe because someone shows signs of disapproval.
• Sugar-coating a statement to avoid the reaction of displeasure.
• Portraying yourself as someone else in order to make someone life you.
• Feeling depressed or anxious when someone disagrees with you.
• Feeling insulted or put-down when someone states a contrary sentiment to your own.
• Labelling someone a snob or ‘stuck-up’ which is just another way of saying “pay more attention to me.”
• Being excessively agreeable and head nodding, even when you don’t agree at all with what is being said.  That is real ‘people-pleasing’ and is quite sickening to see if you know the person concerned. They pander to everyone and want to be every body’s buddy.
• Doing favours for people and feeling resentful about not being able to say no.
• Being intimidated by a sharp salesperson and buying something you don’t want.  Fearful to take something back you bought because you don’t want to upset the shop assistant and they might not like you.
• Eating a steak in a restaurant that is not cooked the way you ordered it, because the waiter won’t like you if you send it back.  I’ve sent back many steaks that were undone and felt happy with myself for standing up for what I want.
• Saying things you don’t mean to say just to avoid being disliked.
• Spreading bad news about deaths, divorce, and gossip in general just to enjoy the feeling of being noticed and being in the limelight.
• Getting permission to speak, or to make a purchase, or to do anything, from a significant other in your life, because you fear the displeasure of that person.
• Apologising for yourself at every turn. The excessive “I’m sorry’s” that are designed to have others forgive you and approve of you all of the time.
• Behaving in nonconforming ways for the purpose of gaining attention, which is the same neurosis as confirming for the sake of external approval.
• Being pathologically late for all occasions. Here you can’t help but be seen and it is an approval-seeking device which gets everyone’s attention. You may be doing it out of a need to be distinguished and hence you are controlled by those doing the noticing.
• Trying to impress others with your knowledge of something that you know nothing about by ‘faking it.”
• Begging for compliments by seeing yourself up for approval and then feeling bad when they don’t come.
• Being unhappy about someone you respect having a contrary point of view and expressing it to you.

Obviously, the list can go on forever. Approval-seeking is a cultural phenomenon that is readily observable in all corners of the world. It is only distasteful when it becomes a need, which, of course, is tantamount to giving up the self and placing responsibility for how you feel in the hands of others who approbation is being sought.

This is the plight of the emotionally immature adult hooked on alcohol.

There are many resources available to the alcoholic to help him or her achieve a successful sobriety.  When counselling someone new, I need to ensure they understand the program I give them and balancing the brain chemistry is one way to achieve that.  It also helps with detoxing and experiencing the feeling of reward without the use of alcohol.

Tyrosine Mood Food and L-Glutamine helps to balance their brain chemistry. L-Glutamine supports efficient brain function and is the body’s most potent antioxidant and detoxifier. Glutamine can be found in our Ultimate Gut Health Powder. Tyrosine Mood Food is necessary for the manufacture of dopamine and noradrenaline, which are required for concentration, alertness, memory and a happy, stable mood.

I also recommend Magnesium Ultra Potent to help them reduce stress and assist with a deep and restful sleep without having to use drugs or alcohol.

LivaTone Plus supports phase 1 and phase 2 detoxification pathways, ensuring optimum detoxification of many toxic substances and also supports liver function and metabolism.