My most important recovery mentor made these comments to me about the wisdom of avoiding “relationships” in early recovery. In the very short term, we simply don’t need distractions while learning a life-saving discipline. We aren’t out of early recovery for years, which is rarely discussed. In the long term, recovery practice causes profound changes within us, changing our perspective in ways that can’t be imagined early on. So my mentor suggested no major life changes in early recovery, about relationships, jobs, even buying a car, because in future I would be making different choices about many things. And that prediction was completely accurate.

He also warned against taking suggestions commonly made in meetings too literally. The warnings serve a purpose. But recovery is a process. And of course, “life happens,” so when we cannot avoid a big change in early recovery, it’s critical to review the matter with a sponsor and other recovery mentors. The practice of seeking guidance, and continuing to do so when we suffer the effects of bad choices, is the lifeblood of recovery.